Straight out of retro gates. reLINE Software’s “Biing!” is an adult/erotic hospital strategy/management game, and it’s similar in quite a few ways to “Theme Hospital”, although  Biing focuses much more on the management side, and as such plays much slower as a result.

biing sex intrigue and scalpels a very sexy nurse

This is what the reception area looks like in the game, and here’s a fun fact. A nurse is always visible even if no-one is assigned here).

In addition to this, “Biing!” is played out in 2D over many (very slightly) animated screens, and as such feels somewhat inferior to the later “Theme Hospital”.

However, the passage of time hasn’t really been kind to this game either – graphically, it’s nice, but everything is very simplified in terms of animations.

Let me put it like this, some of the game’s graphics are very Benny Hill:ish. However, don’t get your expectations up, because the visuals won’t get any pulses racing (at least not for the most part).

biing sex intrigue and scalpels the land that you can use

The land that you can use in the game is very simplified in terms of visuals as you can see in this picture.

Furthermore, there is little sense of progression in the game: No notice on how long it takes to get your first patients or how long diagnosis takes and so on, which makes everything feel rather slow and laborious – you just have to wait.

biing sex intrigue and scalpels two sexy and nude nurses

Say hello to the doctor’s office :3 And as nice as it might look, sadly enough, you only ever see two types of patient graphics.

As for the actual object of the game. Well, the main object of “Biing!” is to build and maintain a hospital, and deal with all the whacky patients and their absurdly named problems, and as such, you have a day to make a profit.

biing sex intrigue and scalpels advertising campaigns

Players get the option to run advertising campaigns or send thugs around to rival hospitals.

So to that end you need to hire doctors, nurses, cleaning staff and so on, as well as rent (or buy) land which is then used for different aspects of the hotel.

biing sex intrigue and scalpels a super sexy nurse

The hospitals’ waiting room (yep, it’s just as crazy as it looks).

This is all done through moving between screens, and just waiting for something to complete. There is little in the way of any real interaction – you can’t choose where you would like things built or watch patients move around.

biing sex intrigue and scalpels game over man game over

This is what happens if you fail the objective, because then its game over.

Other than that, your patients have to be managed as well (telling them to either wait in reception or be kicked out), and then assigned to a doctor. Once a diagnosis has been performed you then select the treatment, and after a while, prise the fee out of the now-well patient.

biing sex intrigue and scalpels two hot nurses

Biing!’s humor is on point for the most part, but the game gets rather weird at times.

It doesn’t stop there though, because there is certainly a lot of things that need to be managed…And that includes everything from personnel, admin, reception, storeroom, waiting room and so on, each of which requires someone to be assigned to it in.

biing sex intrigue and scalpels a very hot babe

Biing!’s erotic content is very well-made even though the game is over 25-years old. Furthermore, the game’s babes are hot and thick *cough cough*

As a matter of fact, it’s one of the many fiddly parts of the game unfortunately…As you need to click over someone in order to gain access to the menu screen. Moving around the whole site is fiddly (as again, it’s going through highlighted options), but you do get used to it.

biing sex intrigue and scalpels two hot bar babes

I didn’t really expect that “Biing!” would offer any nice music (or any music at all for that matter), but to my big surprise, that’s exactly how it is. Furthermore, “Biing!” via GOG even comes with the sequel to the game (and it’s all free!).

So much so that the game time moves along fairly, with a clock in the bosses office, showing the current game time. When that reaches midnight, if you haven’t made a profit, then it’s game over.

On a positive note though. There are some nice tunes in the game. Sound effects consist mainly of German office background noises, and that’s about it.

biing sex intrigue and scalpels a really naughty and sexy babe

“Biing!: Sex, Intrigue and Scalpels” could have been so much more, but the game leaves a lot to desire on quite a few fronts…

So if you want a slow, pondering and somewhat fiddly management game, then “Biing!” is up for the job. However, if you’re looking for a more “Theme Hospital” type of game, then this game wouldn’t be suitable.

Pros:
+ Nice graphics, but very simple animations.
+ Hot babes and nice erotic content.
+ The game’s music is pretty good.
+ Diseases, prognosis and such like are funny.
+ Comes with the  German version of the sequel.

Cons:
– The game is slow to play (especially at the start) and  very pedestrian.
– Patient gender and descriptions don’t always match up.
– There is no real sense of achievement.
– Patient pictures seem to have been taken from films and TV.

Gameplay: 3/5
Graphics: 3/5
Sound and music: 3/5
Controls: 3/5
Replay value: 3/5
Story: 3/5

tgg grade 3 out of 5

Verdict: 3/5
“Biing!: Sex, Intrigue and Scalpels” kicks-off with an introduction sequence that has absolutely nothing to do with the game…And that’s when you know that you’ve got one hell of a weird game with “Biing!”.

Anyways, “Biing!” is a game that’s reserved for those who really like simulations and don’t mind a lot of waiting around. I mean, sure the clunky interface is something you get used to, and the graphics are nice, but it’s all so pedestrian. So “Biing!” might not be your cup of tea if you can’t stand any of these things.

Title: Biing!: Sex, Intrigue and Scalpels
Developer: reLINE Software
Format: PC
Genre: Retro softcore Strategy/management
Resolution: Program default
Release date: 1995-01-01
Difficulty: User-defined
Spent time:+ 2 hours
Average grade internationally: N/A Metacritic.com
PEGI age rating:
18+
Price: 5.77 Euros via GOG

Credit:
Robin Ek – Editor

***Disclosure***
We (TGG) are a part of the GOG family, and we may receive a profit cut out of your purchase via the GOG links in this post. We were also given a review code for this game.

tgg author avatar Nicholas Kingsley
Nicholas Kingsley
The Gaming Ground
Twitter: @sku_te

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