Now, don’t get me wrong, because I really, REALLY do want to like Ridley Scott’s “Alien: Covenant”...But I just can’t, because it just can’t be done! And please allow me to tell you exactly why that’s the case (while at it, don’t miss out on my “Prometheus” Blu-ray movie review!).
Well, for starter, even though I avoided all sorts of movie spoilers and reviews (which I do most of the time), I should have known what I had coming since the “Alien: Covenant” trailers didn’t get me excited nor thrilled at all about the movies upcoming movie release.
Sadly enough, the trailers very much reflected the final production in a negative light as a whole. So I’m going to try my very best to break-down and unfold this mess of a movie without spoiling the flick for anyone who might not have seen it yet.
Well…How should I put it, even though “Alien: Covenant” got a rather impressing roster of rather well-known names in the movie industry (names such as Ridley Scott, David Giler, Mark Huffam, Michael Schaefer, Michael Fassbender, Danny McBride, Katherine Waterston, with many more), “Alien: Covenant” falls short throughout the movie and leaves a lot to be desired.
And since I’m a man of my word, I’m not going to spoil anything. So let me just put it this way, the very start of the movie (when things are starting to happen/when the sh** hits the fan) was/are sooooo bad that I honestly thought at first that it was some alternative intro that was removed from the final edition of the movie that I had played up by mistake.
However, that was not the case…Then it was just a downward spiral from there. As a matter of fact, for the most part, I and my dad (we watched the movie together as a father and son kind of thing) laughed plenty of times throughout the movie simply because of how incredibly bad and cheesy “Alien: Covenant” is…
And I’ll have you know that I’m not even exaggerating either, because every single person in the movie (besides Michael Fassbender’s David/Walter character) is stupid as a brick.
I mean, the whole crew from the Covenant (it’s a space colonization ship) is like a bunch of naive children in full-grown bodies, where one staff member is more stupid and naive than the other…
Hell, at the very end of “Alien: Covenant” I even half-joked to my dad that “Alien: Covenant” should be renamed “Swedes lost in space”, because that’s how stupid all the humans are in the movie.
I’m not even joking either, because “Alien: Covenant” might as well have been a comedy/horror/sci-fi flick for all I know, because you more or less lose brain cells by watching the movie…
I was honestly thinking about just giving “Alien: Covenant” a 1/5 grade at first, but Michael Fassbender saves the movie from being a total disaster of a flick. So, let me just wrap this movie review of mine with the following words:
If you thought that “Prometheus” was stupid, illogical, and on the tipping point of being half-bad and pure idiocy, then “Alien: Covenant” is all that but much worse…
In other words, you won’t cry yourself to bed just because you haven’t watched “Alien: Covenant” , as the movie just barely even passes my “watch worthy” movie standards.
+ Michael Fassbender as David/Walter.
+ The soundtrack is pretty darn good I have to say.
+ The visuals are rather stunning.
+ You get to laugh at how bad the movie is and how stupid the humans are in the movie.
– The script is very, VERY poorly written and executed.
– A very stupid, naive, and illogical movie as a whole.
– Pretty much no interesting characters (whatsoever) besides David/Walter.
– The start and end of the movie might just be some of the worst scenes that I’ve ever seen in a movie of this caliber ever.
– I thought that the engineers were supposed to be smart and superior?
Viewing value: 2/5
“Alien: Covenant” is like the much dumber, illogical, and poorly made version of “Prometheus”. So if you didn’t even like “Prometheus”, then stay clear of “Alien: Covenant” since it’s with no doubt THE worst “Alien” title to date (yes, it’s even worse than “Alien 3”), there are also much better old and new horror/sci-fi/action movies which you could watch instead.
Title: Alien: Covenant
Movie length: Two-hours and four minutes.
Price: 9,99 pounds + the shipment cost via Amazon.co.uk
Producer: David Giler, Walter Hill, Ridley Scott, Mark Huffam, Michael Schaefer
Director: Ridley Scott
Release date: 2017-05-19
Average grade internationally: 6.4/10 imdb.com
PEGI age rating: +17
Movie stars: Michael Fassbender
Robin “V-Act” Ek
Editor in chief
The Gaming Ground
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